A quiet walk through UK's Arboretum, and it's easy to see why Melanie Simpson Conley finds Joy here.
“Hey, look, somebody brought flowers. Those are butterfly flowers too. Aren’t they pretty?”
A short distance onto the trail and your senses are filled. The aroma of flowers, the sounds of nature and vibrant pinks, purples, yellows and reds. We walk along the path to the Alexandra Simpson Butterfly Garden named after Melanie's daughter who died two years ago at the age of 22. Alex battled a rare form of cancer not once, not twice, but three times in a span of 10 years. Inside the garden, a statue of a young girl surrounded by butterflies greets us.
I asked her “What's your favorite thing about coming here?”
“I just think the tranquility, the peace of it. I mean, like right now you can hear the birds. You can see…” Melanie’s attention is pulled and with joy says, “Look at that black butterfly! Isn’t that beautiful? Now if Alex were here she would tell us exactly what species that was. But yeah, just the just the peace. And sometimes I'll just come here and sit. And think just because it's quiet, you know you might hear a mower. But other than that. People will roll through and people will say so what's the story? And that I love sharing with them.”
Melanie says Alexa's story isn't about her cancer.
“Alex had so many interesting, you know, layers, to her. She was kind. She was compassionate, had a heart full of love. She was feisty, believe me. She was feisty, headstrong, full of courage, full of, you know, vinegar. And she was special because she didn't give up, right?”
Alex's first bout with cancer was when she was just 13. Her last diagnosis came when she was 22, an age when she was able to make her own decisions, and one of those decisions was to give back.
“I don't think Alex at 22 was thinking legacy, right? Because I don't think she ever thought, oh, I'm going let you…see that huge butterfly. Look at that… I don't think she ever said. ‘Oh, I'm going to pass away. I'm going on. You know. How am I leaving things’ right? I don't think mentally. She thought that way. I just think she thought you know; I've been fortunate. I have treasure and I want to share that to make life better for others.”
Along with the Butterfly Garden, the reach of Alex's legacy projects extends to Boston and Kentucky Children's hospitals, her alma matters, the Lexington School, Scapa Lafayette, and Dartmouth College, and the Lexington Children's Theatre and the Lexington Theatre Company.
Her gift to the Lex where Alex performed as Jane Banks in their production of Mary Poppins in 2016, helped the company fulfill their dream of securing a permanent space. This is Co-founder and artistic director, Lyndy Franklin Smith.
“Alex had this beautiful duality. I like to say she was a force and a light because she was so kind and so positive and welcomed everyone, but she also was one of the hardest workers I’ve ever met. And she never met a challenge she couldn't face. And that's part of why the Alex Theater is dual parts.” Franklin said, “There is this rehearsal workspace, classroom space where we do the work and then there's this performance space, which was what she loved. She loved being on stage and she loved sharing her gifts with her community. So, the Alex Theater feels like the perfect way to remember both of those beautiful sides of her.”
Back at the Arboretum, butterflies of all sizes and colors flutter around us as Melanie reminisces about Alex. A sign from her daughter.
“Butterflies just loved her, and at first, I was like, OK, is it chemotherapy? Is it the radiation? I mean, what is what is going on with this child? Right. But I think she was just special. I think the butterflies sensed her love for them and they loved her right back.”
As the butterflies continued to circle, I asked Melanie what advice she would have for parents who are on a similar journey.
“You know if I had it to do over again. I know God has a plan. You know, it's easy to say, just let it take its course, but I probably, if I had her again, I would just hold her, you know, just be there in the moment, as you know, watch Master Chef Junior with her. Right?
Another visitor flutters by Simpson smiles, “Look at that yellow butterfly.” She continues, “Anyway, that's what I would do. I would just hold her. Hold on. I would memorize every eyelash. You know which she just had a few left, you know, with her little bald head and anyway. Hold her hand. Memorize every little fingerprint, every line on her hand. Look at her eyes. Look deep in her eyes and just continue to tell your children you love them.”
Melanie says we can all leave a legacy. Every act of kindness, big or small, creates a butterfly effect of positive change.
“When people say I'm just getting through today, I want to shake them and say no, no, no, no, do not say that, the most of today make a difference today. That's what Alex would say. How can you make a difference? In someone else's life. Today.
